I was thirty years old and traveled to Burma for the second time to meditate for a long period in a monastery. And then suddenly, during a meditation, I felt that I wanted to touch people, that I wanted to be very close to the other person and (thereby) myself through the touch. It felt like a next step in my inner search around the themes of love, intimacy and sexuality. As a child and teenager, I had experienced the true potential of sexuality, but as I grew older I seemed to wander further and further from the unity experiences that emerged so naturally back then.
Once home, I picked up an accelerated part-time physiotherapy study in addition to my work as a freelance journalist. This study ensured that I got rid of my feelings earlier; my touches became functional. Only during my first job as a physiotherapist did I come into contact with my deep desire to simply touch. An intuitive investigation to bring myself and others to their inner growth potential through the touch followed.
I started for myself in the farm where I lived. This soon grew into a large practice with several masseuses. When I ended my relationship at the end of 2012, I also left this practice. I went on alone, without colleagues, and enjoyed the extra floor that I got by focusing solely on the customer and not on (also) business operations. I promised myself that I would never play 'a company' again. I met my current lover with whom I could put into practice all the theories I already had about an alchemical relationship.
In addition to 'the fine' that I experienced in the connection with a loved one where sexuality could unfold from a bed of trust and safety, I experienced just as much pain in parallel. I became aware of the confusion regarding love and sexuality. I felt in myself and in the sessions that I gave the intense collective pain of abuse, betrayal and rejection. Not only with women but also with men.
I too looked back on a sexual life full of experiments (which contained the silent hope of an even greater kick than the previous one), cheating and (in) power. I felt that all these experiences had settled deep within my body and that the only way to step out of the patterns was to heal them in my body through the touch and the making of love. And just as important: the secret of cheating that had nestled between me and the other from my very first love, I now gave no room by pursuing full transparency. That was quite a challenge.
And that's how I live my life missie to unravel the confusion of love and sexuality that we can use the making of love for our inner growth and that of the earth. And so I still develop my daily face shield: the essence of a love relationship is to give you a safe bed to grow, and the essence of sexuality is to bring about this growth in the familiar bed. This growth is about experiencing as much pain as fine. About healing and transforming deep blockages in your body. About freeing love in yourself, your loved one and with that in the world.
The Love Tools I hope to inspire you with are all on this website. Among other things the Love Bubbles that arose when we started sharing our own love nest (which we used every month on our part-day). (The Original Love Bubble, hence the name.) And with this concept, by the way, I have released my promise to never play a company again. It is therefore a very nice company;)